My Top Twenty One Films of 2017

OK yes I know, I haven’t kept up with this blog, but life has been complicated and a certain so called President of the United States has made wanting to write funny prose for the entertainment of who knows how many, seem pointless, but having survived the year, I have therefore determined to follow my friend Eva’s example and will be threatening to kick myself in the shins, (she doesn’t threaten to kick herself in the shins, she threatens mine), if I don’t do something, in this case write more. For a start here is my first submission, my annual Top Ten film list, with a couple of alterations. I have removed the Notable Mentions section; instead I will list my Top Twenty One Films. Why Twenty One you may ask, well I had a list of 20 to go and watched a film after that I wanted to add to it, and didn’t want to remove any of the others, so thought Fuck it, my List, my Rules, you lot will just have to get over it. Also just so you know the film I added last is not the last film on the list, you are welcome to guess what it was. I know there will be some who will be wondering why a certain film involving a stellar conflict did not make the list, to put you mind at ease, I have seen Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I thought it was OK, but preferred all the films on this list to it, there were in fact 3 or 4 other films that didn’t make this list that I preferred to it too. Please remember these are my personal Top Twenty One films from those I have seen. So if you think I have missed a great film out, then either I haven't had a chance to see it, or you are wrong. Message me and I will let you know which of the two it is. Also please be aware that this post will probably contain minor spoilers

The Top Twenty One

21) Lady Bird

A wonderful film directed by Greta Gerwig, following the titular character of Lady Bird, a young catholic girl, bored with her life in Sacramento California and yearning for some excitement. Lady Bird played by Saoirse Ronan has to deal with the usual pains of growing up, friendships, love, and of course her parents as she get ready to leave high school and move onto college and adulthood. Great performances by the entire cast, especially Ronan and Laurie Metcalf, who plays Lady Birds world weary mother.

20) Free Fire

Ben Wheatley the director of such gems as Sightseers, A field in England and High Rise, brings this brilliant action comedy film, set in Boston in the 1970’s and filmed in the Brighton area, The film follows an arms deal gone wrong between a South African arms dealer with his local hoodlums and the IRA with their local hoodlums. Essentially a shootout between the two groups in an abandoned warehouse, this is a funny action film with a fantastic cast including Cillian Murphy, Armie Hammer, Brie Larson and Sharlto Copley.

19) Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Based on the French science fiction comic series Valérian et Laureline, and bought to the screen by the vivid imagination of Luc Besson, this intergalactic adventure unfortunately was a failure at the box office, however is definitely worth a watch. Set in the 28^th century where humans and alien co-habitat on a large collection of space stations and ships combined to form Alpha. Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne play Valérian and Laureline two agents of Alpha, set on an adventurous mystery. Besson the man behind The Fifth Element brings his “A” game to the visual effects and Delevingne is excellent as the no nonsense Laureline.

18) Brigsby Bear

OK I’m going to say it; this is the best Mark Hamill film this year. This film follows James who was raised in an underground bunker, told by his parents the world outside was uninhabitable, only to find out this is all untrue, and that his parents are not his parents, but a couple that kidnapped him as a youngster. The film follows James as he tries to adapt to the outside world, his “new” family and living with the knowledge that the children’s adventure show he has obsessed over his entire life, was actually produced by his captors. For a film dealing with such a dark topic, this film is immensely joyful.

17) Blade of the Immortal

A really fantastic supernatural Samurai film. Following Manji an immortal Samurai, hired by a young lady to be her bodyguard, as she embarks on a journey of revenge against a group of warriors who have killed her mother and father. With an assortment of sword wielding characters, varied and fun enough to populate a 90’s style beat-em-up, and some truly remarkable (and sometimes funny and over the top) action  sequences, this is well worth a watch.

16) John Wick: Chapter 2

What can be said about this sequel to the Awesome 2014 Keanu Reeves action romp? It expands the universe built in the first film, including introducing a new hierarchy of the criminal underworld, the Roman branch of the Continental Hotel (run by Franco Nero’s Julius) and of course Laurence Fishburne’s Bowery King. Reeves again plays the forlorn former assassin is forced to do job he really doesn’t want to, and then has to deal with betrayal. Great action and Reeves is really really good in the role and we finally get to see him kill people with a fuckin’ pencil!

15) Logan Lucky

Steven Soderbergh returned from his “retirement” to make this funny heist film. However unlike his previous forays into the genre, where we followed the ubercool Ocean’s gang, here, the heist is committed by a group of down on their luck everymen (and everywoman), played by Channing Tatum, Adam Driver and Daniel Craig, et al. Fun and charming, my only complaint about this film would be what the fuck was it with Seth MacFarlane’s awful English (?) accent?

14) Spider-Man Homecoming

We were introduced to Tom Holland’s new Peter Parker/Spiderman in 2016’s Captain America: Civil War and this is his first full outing. Setting and keeping Parker in High School this time, this has been referred to as a John Hughes film, set in the MCU, and I have to agree with that statement, (and considering it made this list I like it).  Having to deal with the usual high school dramas, as well as having to face off against supervillains, and having to keep his secret identity, well secret, fully rounds out this version of Parker/Spiderman, which is possibly the closet to the comic books that we have gotten so far on the big screen, played fantastically well by Holland; however the outstanding performance in the film is Michael Keaton as the Vulture, one of the MCU’s best villains.

13) The Lego Batman Movie
Even though Ben Affleck was really good as Bruce Wayne/Batman in this year’s Justice League, Will Arnett will go down as the best Batman of 2017. He played the character to his most ridiculous extremes, to truly comic effect. And as much as this is fun, colourful romp full of numerous characters, (DC and from other franchises), it is also a study in what sort of obsession it takes to be the Batman, as well as the immense loneliness. The voice cast was truly excellent.

12) Baby Driver

After Edgar Wright left Ant-man in 2014, I was curious what he would do next. He is a Director whose work I have loved since the TV show Spaced. This action crime thriller was fantastic, with oodles of style, a great cast, and an equally great soundtrack. Following Ansel Elgort’s (that’s not a real name) Baby, a getaway driver, under the thumb of Kevin Spacey’s Doc, wanting out but being pulled back into the criminal plans of Doc. Stand out performances from Jamie Fox and Jon Hamm.

11) I, Tonya
If you had told me at the beginning of the year, that one of my favourite films of the year would be a film about a sports incident involving figure skating from the 1990’s that I barely registered at the time, I would probably have laughed at you and then backed away from you very slowly. However this film does stay with you and is full of incredible performances especially from Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding and the always great Allison Janney as her overbearing mother. Funny and thought provoking, this is the rarest of thing a good movie, without a single likable character.

10) T2 Trainspotting
Probably the most unlikely sequel of the year. T2 sees Ewan McGregor’s Renton returns to Edinburgh 20 year (almost in real time), after leaving at the end of Trainspotting in 1996, trying to reconnect with his friends Jonny Lee Miller’s Sickboy and Ewen Bremner’s Spud, as well as trying evade Robert Carlyle’s psychotic Begbie. The original Trainspotting was a huge film at the time it came out, especially for those of us who were at university at the time, so it was heart-warming to see these characters back and seeing how the passage of time has affected each of them differently.

9) Atomic Blonde
This 80’s set action/espionage thriller was full of style, panache and had possibly the best hand to hand action sequence of the year, with Charlize Theron’s Lorraine Broughton maybe being the biggest badass of the year. Broughton is sent to Berlin on the cusp of the fall of the Berlin wall, to retrieve a list of undercover agents. Jumping between East and West Berlin, she fights through an array of enemies (from all sides), and investigates the murder of a fellow agent and the location of the list. Also features a great supporting performance by a very over the top James McAvoy

8) Get Out
I am not a huge fan of horror, but Get Out was so much more than a standard horror film, Jordon Peele pulls of a delicate trick by producing a subversive look at race relations in America, in the guise of a horror film. Kaluuya’s Chris Washington goes with white girlfriend to visit her parents for the first time. Once there it becomes clear that something strange is going on, and when it is revealed that Washington has been bought there to be auctioned off, so that he can have his body snatched. Very creepy, especially how black people are talked to and described the upper class white host and their guests.

7) Thor: Ragnarok
Now let’s be honest the previous two Thor MCU films have not been great. The cast has been great and the films themselves have been OK but not great. So Thor: Ragnarok didn’t have much to live up to. Which is possibly why Marvel, were OK with giving it to Taika Waititi, and allowing him the freedom to make the film he did. This is a great comedy film veiled as a cosmic action comic book film. It sees Asgard being taken over by the brilliant Cate Blanchett’s Hela, and Thor, Loki and a new team (The Revengers) fighting to get back to defeat her. An excellent ensemble all round, with Hemsworth shows immense comedy timing.

6) Wonder Woman
It is hard to believe but this was the first time Wonder Woman had appeared on the big screen in her own film, especially considering that she is one of the big three in the DC Comics and also because she has been around since 1941. It is also hard to believe that before Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot bought Princess Diana of the Amazons to the big screen, the best we had in regards to a female lead comic book film was Tank Girl.  The film gives us Diane’s origin and shows us the best parts of the character and why she has lasted so long. Gadot is sensational in the role and is easily the best hero in the DCEU or whatever they are calling it.

5) Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri

This is a slow character piece from the creator of In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths. Frances McDormand stars as a mother whose daughter was assaulted and killed a few months prior, who tired of the lack of progress on the case, rents the titular three billboards on the stretch of road that the crime took place, in attempt to shame the police.  This causes a variety of responses from the local, and hostility from the Sheriff (Woody Harrelson) and his Deputy (Sam Rockwell).

4) Dave Made A Maze

This film is Bonkers! Annie (Meera Rohit Kumbhani) returns home from a weekend away, to find a bunch of connected cardboard boxes on her living room floor, and inside them her boyfriend, (the eponymous Dave played by Nick Thune), telling her that he built a Labyrinth, but got lost inside it. Thinking he has gone mad, and not knowing what to do Annie calls on some friends to help, and then finally giving in enters the Labyrinth to get him out, only to enter a whole new world seemingly made of cardboard, however also full of death traps, and it’s own Minotaur. This film is funny, inventive and visually fantastic.

3) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

In the second Guardians of the Galaxy film, James Gunn expands on the fantastic Marvel cosmic universe that he introduced us to in the first one. We get to explore new worlds, seek out new civilisation and to boldly go where..... Oops wrong franchise. We do however get to see new worlds and alien civilization, there are brilliant comedy moment (I’m Mary Poppins y'all), breathtaking action sequences and of course a kickass soundtrack. However underneath that all is a story about fathers essentially, not only does Starlord get to meet his real father (Kurt Russell’s Ego), we explore his relationship with Yondu, the man that raised him. Also the film follows up on effect their “father” Thanos had on both Gamora and Nebula, and we see the fatherly (if unconventionally so) side of Drax with Mantis.

2) Logan

As cinematic goodbyes go this might be one of the best, Hugh Jackman has portrayed Logan/Wolverine in 9 different films, (including 2 cameos), and no matter how bad the films have been, (I’m looking at you Origins) he has  always been the best thing in them, and he has never been better than in this. Here we find a much older Logan in a world where no new Mutants have been born for 25 years, and most of the other X-Men were all killed off, by a Professor X accidently during a seizure. Logan whose healing factor is failing him, works as freelance chauffer and takes care of Professor X with his fellow mutant Caliban. Their quiet life is thrown into turmoil by the arrival of a young mutant girl Laura/X-23, who is Logan’s clone, (played fantastically by newcomer Dafne Keen). This leads to a cross country chase, with the authorities hunting down Logan, Laura and Professor X. A western concealed as a comic book film, this shows how rewarding taking a risk and trying something new can be for a comic book film.

1) Blade Runner 2049

Actually this film might also be in with a shout for the most unlikely sequel of the year. Blade Runner (2019?) Is one of my favourite films ever, I love Ridley Scott’s world building, the noir atmosphere, the synth score by Vangelis and of course that fantastic Rutger Hauer soliloquy on the nature of life and memory. So this film had a lot to live up to. And Boy did it, Denis Villenueve takes everything from the first film and expands the world outwards. We see the world outside of the future LA, and how the world is devastated. Yet every shot of this film is gorgeous and precise. This time around we are following K a replicant Blade Runner, tasked with hunting down other replicants, who comes across evidence of the first replicant pregnancy and birth. Set to investigate K must come to terms with his own nature and memories. Great performances from the whole cast, especially Ryan Gosling’s K also a brilliant cameo by Dave Bautista, showing his serious acting chops. Yes I know people will and have complained that this film is very long, but they should just learn to relax and enjoy the atmosphere and visual delights this film has to offer.


And my worst film of the year for 2017 is.........

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

Guy Richie’s take on Arthurian legend, isn’t the worst film ever made, any other year it would be nowhere near this category. However unfortunately there were no Transformers or really bad video game adaptation to save it this year, (Resident Evil: The Final Chapter was dumb but fun), and of the three films I had down as possible for the category worst film I’ve seen this year, (the others being Pirates 5 and The Mummy) King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was the worse by a small margin. The idea of making Arthur a cockney wideboy seems laughable and in execution it is laughable. This is pretty much Lock, Stock and two smoking Barrels, minus the comedy and the charm, adding awful action sequences and setting it all in early 6^th century London, So not great.