Films You Should Have Seen #2

It's time again for me to enlighten some of you who have missed out on some  fantastic cinematic gems for whatever reason, on their virtues and why you should stop whatever you are doing and watch it right now, (unless you are preforming surgery of course). 

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Year: 1989
Directed by: Stephen Herek
Starring: Alex Winters, Keanu Reeves, George Carlin, Amy Stock-Poynton, Terry Camilleri, Dan Shor
IMDB Plot Summary:  In the small town of San Dimas, a few miles away from Los Angeles, there are two nearly brain dead teenage boys going by the names of Bill S, Preston ESQ. and Ted Theodore Logan, they have a dream together of starting their own rock and roll band called the "Wyld Stallyns". Unfortunately, they are still in high school and on the verge of failing out of their school as well, and if they do not pass their upcoming history report, they will be separated as a result of Ted's father sending him to military school. So, a man from the future named Rufus came to help them pass their report. So, both Bill and Ted decided to gather up historical figures which they need for their report. They are hoping that this will help them pass their report so they can stay together. (Written by John Wiggins) NB. I have taken out one line from the plot summary to stop spoilers.
Why it is worth watching: This is a true classic. One of the funniest films I have ever seen. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winters are two of the most charming and loveable leads in any film you will see, even if they are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Having these two travel through time and interacting with famous historical figures, without really having any clue about what is going on around them is brilliant to watch (especially a scene where they are trying to out philosophise Socrates in ancient Greece).

This is also one of the rare films where most of the cast is almost pitch perfect, George Carlin as the uber-cool Rufus, Amy Stock-Poynton as the boys old crush and Bill current step mother and all the actors playing the historical figures just fit perfectly. 

This film captures the change over from the 1980's to the 1990's fantastically, by having both charm and wit, and nothing in the film captures this more then the soundtrack. Full of 80's style pop-rock that sometimes veers close to power ballard territory without ever fully crossing over. It might sound a bit cheesy now but sometimes a bit of cheese is a good thing.

So in short go watch this film if you haven't seen it before and if you have then go watch it again, it is a really good time.

Plans for a Papal Revolution

Some of you may have read my earlier post "The Start-up" and they will know that I have given some thought to starting a new religion as a business venture. Obviously those of you hearing about this for the first time are all thinking, "Wow! What a brilliant idea," and/or, "Damn it! Why couldn't I think of that first." To you I would say "Yes I am a genius and why the hell have you not read all my other stuff yet?"

Anyway on February the 11th this year the current Pope announced his decision to retire. This got the many gears in my head working and I decided maybe instead of building a religion from the bottom up, why not take over an established religion and make it better. Therefore I have decided to throw my name into the hat for the job as then next Pope.

Undoubtedly there will be some who would object to this. I mean I'm not Catholic, I'm not even Christian. I'm not any sort of priest, being firmly agnostic probably doesn't help. Also the fact that I'm young and a man of the world may go against me. However to those doubters I would say maybe after 1980 years it's time to try something a bit different. I would project an air of coolness that the papacy lacks, as well as bringing my overall awesomeness into play globally.

To show that I have thought this through, here is an outline of what my Papacy would deliver:

1) Public executions of all priests known to have taken part in the abuse of children. OK this is not a joke. The Catholic church has lost a lot of respect and this issue has caused a lot of pain, not just the acts but the response of the church to them. So in order to bring back confidence to the church we need to send a message. That message should come in the form of swift justice to all those who committed these heinous deeds and all those that helped cover them up.

2) Allow women to be priests. After carrying out my first point there would be rather a lot of vacancies to fill in all levels of the church, so what better time to introduce women into positions they have been denied for far too long. This would modernise the church and bring a whole new energy to its current stagnant state.

3) Allow priests to marry. From what I have read, the reason priests are meant to be celibate is so that the church will inherit all their worldly belongings when the priest shuffles off his mortal coil. if this is the reason then all I can say is that the Vatican has more then enough money, and at this point it's just being greedy. Also this goes directly against the wishes of God, who said "Be fruitful and multiply" if you believe in Genesis 1.28.

4) Give homosexuals equal rights in the church. Look this should be a no brainer logically, if you believe in an all knowing and all powerful God, then you have to believe that if that God didn't want two men, or two women to fall in love with each other, then he or she (it's God I'm not sure if gender pronouns can even apply), wouldn't have made something like 10% of the worlds population gay (is that politically correct? I'm not sure. I apologise if not.) So let openly homosexual people become priests and marry.

5) Allow the use of contraceptives. OK let's get serious here, people like to have sex. It is a lot of fun from what I remember, and the idea that people should only do it when they want to have children is bordering on the absurd. This is the 21st century and burying its head in the sand will not do the church any good, it needs to grow up. This isn't even taking into account the vast numbers of the church's followers that are dying of HIV each year. If you were to look at this as a business model, then allowing your customer base to dwindle each year, when you can prevent it, without any additional financial costs yourself, is really crappy business.

Now that all the serious issues have been addressed here are a few changes I would bring along just for me.

1) No special hat for the pope. I don't do hats it makes my hair all weird. I understand that most of the people working in the church are very old men, so I wouldn't ban hats altogether. Just not for me.

2) Pimp out the Pope Mobile. I mean just look at it. And it's white!  

3) I would create a Vatican City Football team for international football tournaments and be allowed to pick any player from any Roman Catholic country (So South America, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Poland....)

4) Sell off some of the churches assets to start a Space program, so I can be an astronaut.

5) Raise a Papal army. I've always wanted an army.

Anyway these are my ideas for the direction the Catholic Church could take under my brilliant leadership.

A Salute to Those Taken Away Too Soon

Hello there you lovely people and those of you who aren't lovely as well. This week I read some news that deeply saddened me. It’s something that has happened to me on multiple occasions, however no matter how many times I go through it, I still feel the same frustration and sorrow every time.

I am of course referring to the way I feel when a TV show gets cancelled before it’s time has come. In this instance I am referring to the comedy series “Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23” Now for those of you unfamiliar with this particular show, let me give you a quickish overview.

Feisty yet naive girl from Indiana June Colburn (Dreama Walker), comes to New York to start her dream career in the finance sector. The company who employed her turns out to be based on a Ponzi scheme, and as she step off the elevator on the morning of her very first day she is told that the company is being raided by the IRS and all its assets seized, including her extremely lush apartment. Unemployed, homeless and too proud to head back home June decides to stay in the Big Apple and get her life back on track. Step one find a place to live. Answering a advert for a flatmate June meets the seemingly nice, but in truth a bitch/party girl/con-woman/possibly psychopathic Chloe McGruff, (Krysten Ritter). After an initial dislike the two of them decide to continue as flatmates and much fun is had by all that watched.

Now some of you may say, “But that doesn’t sound that funny”. Some of you may even think I am not sincere in my admiration of this show. If you believe that then you are mistaken on both counts. The show may be a riff on the odd couple scenario; however what make this show special was definitely the cast, Ritter plays Chloe with such aplomb and seems to be having the time of her life doing so. Walker’s portrayal of June is a perfect foil for the over the top (but still loveable) Chloe, showing shock, envy and wonder in equal parts at Chloe’s antics. The rest of the cast is also great Liza Lapira as Chloe’s ex-flat mate and current neighbour, who is desperate to get back into Chloe’s world, Eric Andre as Junes boss who has the hots for her. The best outside the two leads though is definitely James Van Der Beek playing a fictional version of himself as Chloe’s BFF. He plays up his vanity and acting career to great amusement but still is very likeable.

Anyway after only 18 episodes being aired the show has been cancelled. In honour of another show that was cancelled too soon, I thought I would list a few other shows that weren’t given enough time or cancelled too soon (or on a cliffhanger).

Firefly: Series: 1 Series there should have been: 5

This is the best example of a show with fantastic potential that should have been treated a lot differently. A great concept, a wonderful background and a brilliant cast, this could have been a truly great sci-fi classic. The fans obviously being smarter then the TV execs did force a film through, but still I would like a lot more.

My Name is Earl: Series: 4 Should have been: 5

This is one of those case of ending a great series on a cliffhanger. With one more series they could have tied up any loose ends and Earl could have finished his list and he and Randy could have had happily ever after.

Pushing Daisies: Number of Series: Series: 2 Should have been: 6

A quirky wonderful show the likes of which I haven't seen before. It was a colourful masterpiece. The creators knowing the end was nigh rushed to tie up all the loose ends on the last show. However I would still love to see a lot more of these characters.

Outcasts: Number of Series: Series: 1 Should have been: 3

I was introduced to this BBC gem by my friend. A great Sci-fi series which ended after just 8 episodes and unfortunately on a big cliffhanger. A great cast of British acting talent made this tension filled series well worth watching.

Outsourced: Series: 1 Should have been: 4

A very funny sitcom that was cancelled too soon. Some critics considered this to be racist, being of Indian origins myself I can say I didn't find it so and wasn't offended. I found it charming, and the fact that it was making fun of both the Indian and American office cultures made it even more funny. More Diedrich Bader and Pervesh Cheena!

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Series: 2 Should have been: 5

Another great show. This time based on an existing franchise that ended too soon. To make matters worse it ended on one hell of a cliffhanger. A great cast all round with special mention to Lena Headey and Garret Dillahunt, as Sarah Connor and Cromartie respectively.

To these and all the other great shows that burned brightly but not for long enough, we salute you.