OK yes I know, I
haven’t kept up with this blog, but life has been complicated and a certain so
called President of the United States has made wanting to write funny prose for
the entertainment of who knows how many, seem pointless, but having survived
the year, I have therefore determined
to follow my friend Eva’s example and will be threatening to kick myself in the
shins, (she doesn’t threaten to kick herself in the shins, she threatens mine),
if I don’t do something, in this case write more. For a start here is my first
submission, my annual Top Ten film list, with a couple of alterations. I have
removed the Notable Mentions section; instead I will list my Top Twenty One
Films. Why Twenty One you may ask, well I had a list of 20 to go and watched a
film after that I wanted to add to it, and didn’t want to remove any of the
others, so thought Fuck it, my List, my Rules, you lot will just have to get
over it. Also just so you know the film I added last is not the last film on
the list, you are welcome to guess what it was. I know there will be some who
will be wondering why a certain film involving a stellar conflict did not make
the list, to put you mind at ease, I have seen Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I
thought it was OK, but preferred all the films on this list to it, there were
in fact 3 or 4 other films that didn’t make this list that I preferred to it
too. Please remember these are my personal Top Twenty One films from those I
have seen. So if you think I have missed a great film out, then either I
haven't had a chance to see it, or you are wrong. Message me and I will let you
know which of the two it is. Also please
be aware that this post will probably contain minor spoilers
The Top Twenty One
21) Lady Bird
A wonderful film
directed by Greta Gerwig, following the titular character of Lady Bird, a young
catholic girl, bored with her life in Sacramento California and yearning for
some excitement. Lady Bird played by Saoirse Ronan has to deal with the usual
pains of growing up, friendships, love, and of course her parents as she get
ready to leave high school and move onto college and adulthood. Great
performances by the entire cast, especially Ronan and Laurie Metcalf, who plays
Lady Birds world weary mother.
20) Free Fire
Ben Wheatley the
director of such gems as Sightseers, A field in England and High Rise, brings
this brilliant action comedy film, set in Boston in the 1970’s and filmed in
the Brighton area, The film follows an arms deal gone wrong between a South
African arms dealer with his local hoodlums and the IRA with their local
hoodlums. Essentially a shootout between the two groups in an abandoned
warehouse, this is a funny action film with a fantastic cast including Cillian
Murphy, Armie Hammer, Brie Larson and Sharlto Copley.
19) Valerian and the City of a Thousand
Planets
Based on the French
science fiction comic series Valérian et Laureline, and bought to the screen by
the vivid imagination of Luc Besson, this intergalactic adventure unfortunately
was a failure at the box office, however is definitely worth a watch. Set in
the 28th century where humans and alien co-habitat on a large
collection of space stations and ships combined to form Alpha. Dane DeHaan and
Cara Delevingne play Valérian and Laureline two agents of Alpha, set on an
adventurous mystery. Besson the man behind The Fifth Element brings his “A”
game to the visual effects and Delevingne is excellent as the no nonsense
Laureline.
18) Brigsby Bear
OK I’m going to say
it; this is the best Mark Hamill film this year. This film follows James who
was raised in an underground bunker, told by his parents the world outside was
uninhabitable, only to find out this is all untrue, and that his parents are
not his parents, but a couple that kidnapped him as a youngster. The film
follows James as he tries to adapt to the outside world, his “new” family and
living with the knowledge that the children’s adventure show he has obsessed
over his entire life, was actually produced by his captors. For a film dealing
with such a dark topic, this film is immensely joyful.
17) Blade of the Immortal
A really fantastic
supernatural Samurai film. Following Manji an immortal Samurai, hired by a
young lady to be her bodyguard, as she embarks on a journey of revenge against
a group of warriors who have killed her mother and father. With an assortment
of sword wielding characters, varied and fun enough to populate a 90’s style
beat-em-up, and some truly remarkable (and sometimes funny and over the top)
action sequences, this is well worth a
watch.
16) John Wick: Chapter 2
What can be said
about this sequel to the Awesome 2014 Keanu Reeves action romp? It expands the
universe built in the first film, including introducing a new hierarchy of the
criminal underworld, the Roman branch of the Continental Hotel (run by Franco
Nero’s Julius) and of course Laurence Fishburne’s Bowery King. Reeves again
plays the forlorn former assassin is forced to do job he really doesn’t want
to, and then has to deal with betrayal. Great action and Reeves is really
really good in the role and we finally get to see him kill people with a
fuckin’ pencil!
15) Logan Lucky
Steven Soderbergh
returned from his “retirement” to make this funny heist film. However unlike
his previous forays into the genre, where we followed the ubercool Ocean’s
gang, here, the heist is committed by a group of down on their luck everymen
(and everywoman), played by Channing Tatum, Adam Driver and Daniel Craig, et
al. Fun and charming, my only complaint about this film would be what the fuck
was it with Seth MacFarlane’s awful English (?) accent?
14) Spider-Man Homecoming
We were introduced
to Tom Holland’s new Peter Parker/Spiderman in 2016’s Captain America: Civil
War and this is his first full outing. Setting and keeping Parker in High
School this time, this has been referred to as a John Hughes film, set in the
MCU, and I have to agree with that statement, (and considering it made this
list I like it). Having to deal with the
usual high school dramas, as well as having to face off against supervillains,
and having to keep his secret identity, well secret, fully rounds out this
version of Parker/Spiderman, which is possibly the closet to the comic books
that we have gotten so far on the big screen, played fantastically well by
Holland; however the outstanding performance in the film is Michael Keaton as
the Vulture, one of the MCU’s best villains.
13) The Lego Batman Movie
Even though Ben Affleck was really
good as Bruce Wayne/Batman in this year’s Justice League, Will Arnett will go
down as the best Batman of 2017. He played the character to his most ridiculous
extremes, to truly comic effect. And as much as this is fun, colourful romp
full of numerous characters, (DC and from other franchises), it is also a study
in what sort of obsession it takes to be the Batman, as well as the immense
loneliness. The voice cast was truly excellent.
12) Baby Driver
After Edgar Wright
left Ant-man in 2014, I was curious what he would do next. He is a Director whose
work I have loved since the TV show Spaced. This action crime thriller was
fantastic, with oodles of style, a great cast, and an equally great soundtrack.
Following Ansel Elgort’s (that’s not a real name) Baby, a getaway driver, under
the thumb of Kevin Spacey’s Doc, wanting out but being pulled back into the
criminal plans of Doc. Stand out performances from Jamie Fox and Jon Hamm.
11) I, Tonya
If you had told me at the beginning of the year, that one of my favourite films
of the year would be a film about a sports incident involving figure skating
from the 1990’s that I barely registered at the time, I would probably have
laughed at you and then backed away from you very slowly. However this film
does stay with you and is full of incredible performances especially from
Margot Robbie as Tonya Harding and the always great Allison Janney as her
overbearing mother. Funny and thought provoking, this is the rarest of thing a
good movie, without a single likable character.
10) T2 Trainspotting
Probably the most unlikely sequel of the year. T2 sees Ewan McGregor’s Renton
returns to Edinburgh 20 year (almost in real time), after leaving at the end of
Trainspotting in 1996, trying to reconnect with his friends Jonny Lee Miller’s
Sickboy and Ewen Bremner’s Spud, as well as trying evade Robert Carlyle’s
psychotic Begbie. The original Trainspotting was a huge film at the time it
came out, especially for those of us who were at university at the time, so it
was heart-warming to see these characters back and seeing how the passage of
time has affected each of them differently.
9) Atomic Blonde
This 80’s set action/espionage thriller was full of style, panache and had
possibly the best hand to hand action sequence of the year, with Charlize
Theron’s Lorraine Broughton maybe being the biggest badass of the year. Broughton
is sent to Berlin on the cusp of the fall of the Berlin wall, to retrieve a
list of undercover agents. Jumping between East and West Berlin, she fights
through an array of enemies (from all sides), and investigates the murder of a
fellow agent and the location of the list. Also features a great supporting
performance by a very over the top James McAvoy
8) Get Out
I am not a huge fan of horror, but Get Out was so much more than a standard
horror film, Jordon Peele pulls of a delicate trick by producing a subversive
look at race relations in America, in the guise of a horror film. Kaluuya’s
Chris Washington goes with white girlfriend to visit her parents for the first
time. Once there it becomes clear that something strange is going on, and when
it is revealed that Washington has been bought there to be auctioned off, so
that he can have his body snatched. Very creepy, especially how black people
are talked to and described the upper class white host and their guests.
7) Thor: Ragnarok
Now let’s be honest the previous two Thor MCU films have not been great. The
cast has been great and the films themselves have been OK but not great. So
Thor: Ragnarok didn’t have much to live up to. Which is possibly why Marvel, were
OK with giving it to Taika Waititi, and allowing him the freedom to make the
film he did. This is a great comedy film veiled as a cosmic action comic book
film. It sees Asgard being taken over by the brilliant Cate Blanchett’s Hela,
and Thor, Loki and a new team (The Revengers) fighting to get back to defeat
her. An excellent ensemble all round, with Hemsworth shows immense comedy
timing.
6) Wonder Woman
It is hard to believe but this was the first time Wonder Woman had appeared on the
big screen in her own film, especially considering that she is one of the big
three in the DC Comics and also because she has been around since 1941. It is
also hard to believe that before Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot bought Princess
Diana of the Amazons to the big screen, the best we had in regards to a female
lead comic book film was Tank Girl. The
film gives us Diane’s origin and shows us the best parts of the character and
why she has lasted so long. Gadot is sensational
in the role and is easily the best hero in the DCEU or whatever they are
calling it.
5) Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri
This is a slow
character piece from the creator of In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths. Frances
McDormand stars as a mother whose daughter was assaulted and killed a few
months prior, who tired of the lack of progress on the case, rents the titular
three billboards on the stretch of road that the crime took place, in attempt
to shame the police. This causes a
variety of responses from the local, and hostility from the Sheriff (Woody
Harrelson) and his Deputy (Sam Rockwell).
4) Dave Made A Maze
This film is
Bonkers! Annie (Meera Rohit Kumbhani) returns home from a weekend away, to find
a bunch of connected cardboard boxes on her living room floor, and inside them
her boyfriend, (the eponymous Dave played by Nick Thune), telling her that he
built a Labyrinth, but got lost inside it. Thinking he has gone mad, and not
knowing what to do Annie calls on some friends to help, and then finally giving
in enters the Labyrinth to get him out, only to enter a whole new world
seemingly made of cardboard, however also full of death traps, and it’s own
Minotaur. This film is funny, inventive and visually fantastic.
3) Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
In the second
Guardians of the Galaxy film, James Gunn expands on the fantastic Marvel cosmic
universe that he introduced us to in the first one. We get to explore new
worlds, seek out new civilisation and to boldly go where..... Oops wrong
franchise. We do however get to see new worlds and alien civilization, there
are brilliant comedy moment (I’m Mary Poppins y'all), breathtaking action
sequences and of course a kickass soundtrack. However underneath that all is a
story about fathers essentially, not only does Starlord get to meet his real
father (Kurt Russell’s Ego), we explore his relationship with Yondu, the man
that raised him. Also the film follows up on effect their “father” Thanos had
on both Gamora and Nebula, and we see the fatherly (if unconventionally so)
side of Drax with Mantis.
2) Logan
As cinematic
goodbyes go this might be one of the best, Hugh Jackman has portrayed
Logan/Wolverine in 9 different films, (including 2 cameos), and no matter how
bad the films have been, (I’m looking at you Origins) he has always been the best thing in them, and he
has never been better than in this. Here we find a much older Logan in a world
where no new Mutants have been born for 25 years, and most of the other X-Men
were all killed off, by a Professor X accidently during a seizure. Logan whose
healing factor is failing him, works as freelance chauffer and takes care of
Professor X with his fellow mutant Caliban. Their quiet life is thrown into
turmoil by the arrival of a young mutant girl Laura/X-23, who is Logan’s clone,
(played fantastically by newcomer Dafne Keen). This leads to a cross country
chase, with the authorities hunting down Logan, Laura and Professor X. A
western concealed as a comic book film, this shows how rewarding taking a risk
and trying something new can be for a comic book film.
1) Blade Runner 2049
Actually this film
might also be in with a shout for the most unlikely sequel of the year. Blade Runner
(2019?) Is one of my favourite films ever, I love Ridley Scott’s world
building, the noir atmosphere, the synth score by Vangelis and of course that fantastic
Rutger Hauer soliloquy on the nature of life and memory. So this film had a lot
to live up to. And Boy did it, Denis Villenueve takes everything from the first
film and expands the world outwards. We see the world outside of the future LA,
and how the world is devastated. Yet every shot of this film is gorgeous and
precise. This time around we are following K a replicant
Blade Runner, tasked with hunting down other replicants, who comes
across evidence of the first replicant pregnancy and birth. Set to investigate
K must come to terms with his own nature and memories. Great performances from
the whole cast, especially Ryan Gosling’s K also a brilliant cameo by Dave
Bautista, showing his serious acting chops. Yes I know people will and have
complained that this film is very long, but they should just learn to relax and
enjoy the atmosphere and visual delights this film has to offer.
And my worst film of the year for 2017 is.........
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Guy Richie’s take
on Arthurian legend, isn’t the worst film ever made, any other year it would be
nowhere near this category. However unfortunately there were no Transformers or
really bad video game adaptation to save it this year, (Resident Evil: The
Final Chapter was dumb but fun), and of the three films I had down as possible
for the category worst film I’ve seen this year, (the others being Pirates 5
and The Mummy) King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was the worse by a small margin.
The idea of making Arthur a cockney wideboy seems laughable and in execution it
is laughable. This is pretty much Lock, Stock and two smoking Barrels, minus
the comedy and the charm, adding awful action sequences and setting it all in
early 6th century London, So not great.
