A Salute to Those Taken Away Too Soon

Hello there you lovely people and those of you who aren't lovely as well. This week I read some news that deeply saddened me. It’s something that has happened to me on multiple occasions, however no matter how many times I go through it, I still feel the same frustration and sorrow every time.

I am of course referring to the way I feel when a TV show gets cancelled before it’s time has come. In this instance I am referring to the comedy series “Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23” Now for those of you unfamiliar with this particular show, let me give you a quickish overview.

Feisty yet naive girl from Indiana June Colburn (Dreama Walker), comes to New York to start her dream career in the finance sector. The company who employed her turns out to be based on a Ponzi scheme, and as she step off the elevator on the morning of her very first day she is told that the company is being raided by the IRS and all its assets seized, including her extremely lush apartment. Unemployed, homeless and too proud to head back home June decides to stay in the Big Apple and get her life back on track. Step one find a place to live. Answering a advert for a flatmate June meets the seemingly nice, but in truth a bitch/party girl/con-woman/possibly psychopathic Chloe McGruff, (Krysten Ritter). After an initial dislike the two of them decide to continue as flatmates and much fun is had by all that watched.

Now some of you may say, “But that doesn’t sound that funny”. Some of you may even think I am not sincere in my admiration of this show. If you believe that then you are mistaken on both counts. The show may be a riff on the odd couple scenario; however what make this show special was definitely the cast, Ritter plays Chloe with such aplomb and seems to be having the time of her life doing so. Walker’s portrayal of June is a perfect foil for the over the top (but still loveable) Chloe, showing shock, envy and wonder in equal parts at Chloe’s antics. The rest of the cast is also great Liza Lapira as Chloe’s ex-flat mate and current neighbour, who is desperate to get back into Chloe’s world, Eric Andre as Junes boss who has the hots for her. The best outside the two leads though is definitely James Van Der Beek playing a fictional version of himself as Chloe’s BFF. He plays up his vanity and acting career to great amusement but still is very likeable.

Anyway after only 18 episodes being aired the show has been cancelled. In honour of another show that was cancelled too soon, I thought I would list a few other shows that weren’t given enough time or cancelled too soon (or on a cliffhanger).

Firefly: Series: 1 Series there should have been: 5

This is the best example of a show with fantastic potential that should have been treated a lot differently. A great concept, a wonderful background and a brilliant cast, this could have been a truly great sci-fi classic. The fans obviously being smarter then the TV execs did force a film through, but still I would like a lot more.

My Name is Earl: Series: 4 Should have been: 5

This is one of those case of ending a great series on a cliffhanger. With one more series they could have tied up any loose ends and Earl could have finished his list and he and Randy could have had happily ever after.

Pushing Daisies: Number of Series: Series: 2 Should have been: 6

A quirky wonderful show the likes of which I haven't seen before. It was a colourful masterpiece. The creators knowing the end was nigh rushed to tie up all the loose ends on the last show. However I would still love to see a lot more of these characters.

Outcasts: Number of Series: Series: 1 Should have been: 3

I was introduced to this BBC gem by my friend. A great Sci-fi series which ended after just 8 episodes and unfortunately on a big cliffhanger. A great cast of British acting talent made this tension filled series well worth watching.

Outsourced: Series: 1 Should have been: 4

A very funny sitcom that was cancelled too soon. Some critics considered this to be racist, being of Indian origins myself I can say I didn't find it so and wasn't offended. I found it charming, and the fact that it was making fun of both the Indian and American office cultures made it even more funny. More Diedrich Bader and Pervesh Cheena!

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Series: 2 Should have been: 5

Another great show. This time based on an existing franchise that ended too soon. To make matters worse it ended on one hell of a cliffhanger. A great cast all round with special mention to Lena Headey and Garret Dillahunt, as Sarah Connor and Cromartie respectively.

To these and all the other great shows that burned brightly but not for long enough, we salute you.

Films You Should Have Seen #1

Prologue
So the other day I was talking to a colleague at work about a currently TV series (Elementary) and told him the name of the actor who stars in it (Jonny Lee Miller). He didn't recognise the name so I took the universal next step in this situation and named a film that he was in. Now when thinking of Jonny Lee Miller the first film that comes to my mind is of course Hackers, (same for Angelina Jolie). However I was aghast to find that not only had my colleague not seen the film, he hadn't even heard of it. I then asked a couple of colleagues around us and they too disappointed me by not having heard of it.

Now to be honest I am something of a film fanatic and love watching a lot of different types of films. So maybe the fact that I have seen something that other people may not have, shouldn't surprise me (though it constantly does). I have therefore come to the conclusion that it is my duty to educate you less fortunate beings, so you may too enjoy some of the film industries lesser known gems.

I will therefore be publishing at least one monthly post on a film I believe you should have seen but may not have. You are Welcome.

So let us begin with the film that started this process.

Hacker
Year: 1995
Directed by: Iain Softley
Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Angelina Jolie, Fisher Stevens, Matthew Lillard, Lorraine Bracco
IMDB Plot Summary: A young boy is arrested by the US Secret Service for writing a computer virus and is banned from using a computer until his 18th birthday. Years later, he and his new-found friends discover a plot to unleash a dangerous computer virus, but they must use their computer skills to find the evidence while being pursued by the Secret Service and the evil computer genius behind the virus.
Why it is worth watching: OK the plot summary hardly does the film justice. Yes that is basically what happens in the film, however this film is one where the style over the substance is what makes it so fantastic. 

OK I work in IT and I understand that the way the film depicts hackers and hacking is utterly ridiculous, gloriously ridiculous, so ridiculous in fact that it becomes sublime. They depict the internal workings of servers as city grids and building, with running process seeming to be vehicles moving along the grids at super fast speeds, and hacking process as breaking into one of those building. 

The hackers themselves are depicted as these uber-cool sexy rebels all colourful hair and colourful latex. Speaking in meaningless slang, inhabiting a world of computer games and techno music. The then young cast (one of Jolie's first film roles), play the parts with a frenetic energy and elusive coolness that all young know-it-alls posses.

Speaking of the music, the soundtrack is a whose who of mid nineties Techno, Trance and Electronica, with bands such as Leftfield, The Prodigy, Underworld and Orbital providing the perfect mood for this over the top romp.

This film is a brilliant reminder of the positive attitude prevalent at the time. When a film like this could be made by people with little knowledge of the main subject and still make something showy and fun.

Anyway there you are, go watch it this film

What Every Geek Has Done Before

OK Ladies and Gentlemen, Girls and Boys and everyone and everything in between. Let me warn you straight off, the nerd factor on this post will be set to warp factor 9.8, yes this post is about Star Trek. Before I begin I think I should provide the non geeky amongst you with some information, I will be using the following abbreviations

TOS = The Original Series (The one with Kirk and Spock)
TNG = The Next Generation (The one with Picard)
DS9 = Deep Space Nine (The one aboard the space station)

Anyway while watching the trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness, (looks excellent, can't wait), I remembered something that me and my friends used to do years ago. We would try and come up with the ultimate Star Trek crew from the crews of the TV series, (at the time there were only 3 TOS, TNG and DS9). To be honest with me at the time it would end up with the crew of TNG with Spock and Dr. Bashir thrown in for variety.

Anyway I decide to try this again especially as there are two new crews to pick from Voyager and Enterprise, (though I really really dislike Voyager). In order to makes sure that we again didn't end up with the crew of TNG with Spock and Dr. Bashir like usual, I set up some rules. Please feel free to to create your own ideal crews following my rules, it's extremely nerdy and very relaxing, (once you are done).

The Rules
1) Only members of crews from the TV Series are to be picked from, all other media, (films, books, games etc.) are not valid.

2) You must use at least 1 person from each of the TV series crews.

3) You must fill certain roles. After researching the roles that were on most of the shows were:

          Commanding Officer/Captain (Archer,  Kirk,  Picard,  Sisko,  Janeway)
          Second in Command (T'Pol,  Spock,  Riker,  Nerys,  Chakotay)
          Chief Medical Officer (Phlox,  McCoy,  Crusher,  Bashir,  The EMH Doctor)
          Chief Engineer (Tucker,  Scott,  La Forge,  Torres)
          Chief Operations Officer (Data,  O'Brien,  Kim)
          Chief Science Officer (T'Pol,  Spock,  J. Dax,  Wildman)
          Communications Officer (Sato,  Uhura)
          Tactical\Security Chief (Reed,  Worf,  Odo,  Tuvok)
          Helmsman (Mayweather,  Sulu,  Crusher,  Paris)

4) Those amongst you with the tendency to do so will have noticed that there are 9 positions to fill currently. For some reason, (possibly just a general disposition towards decimalisation), I would prefer to have a tenth member of the crew. So I researched some more to see what other positions showed up with the main crews of the shows and came up with the following list, from which you will pick only 1:

          Nurse (Chapel,  Kes)
          Counsellor (Troi,  E. Dax)
          Navigator (Chekov)
          Astrometrics (Seven of Nine)
          Stewards (Daniels,  Rand,  Guinan,  Quark,  Neelix)

5) Only designated positions are allowed. You can not assign someone to a role that they are not listed under, (I.e. you can not make Data the second in command, or make Seven of Nine into a nurse (as much as we would like to see her in a nurses uniform)) 

6) Each member of your crew can only be assigned to one position. Some are listed under multiple roles, this is due to the fact that the fulfilled multiple roles during there series, (I.e. Spock and were both the Second in Command (First Officer) and the Science Officer aboard their respective Enterprises). However you can only pick someone once. 

7) Finally you must also pick a ship for your crew. I had thought about allowing you to pick any ship from the Star Trek universe, (I mean who doesn't think the Klingon Bird of Preys are fucking awesome). However in order to make this more interesting I am limiting it to Star Fleet ships only as the crew will consist of Star fleet personal mainly. If you have the time, interest, inclination you can check up on this list to pick your ship. 

OK I can tell that you are all chomping at the bits to know my picks for the ideal Star Trek Crew. So here you go

My Ideal Star Trek Crew

Commanding Officer/Captain: Jean-Luc Picard
This one should be obvious. Picard is the most experienced, balanced and the coolest captain, (sorry Kirk). Even has a battle maneuver named after him.
Second Choice: James Tiberius Kirk

Second in Command: Spock
Lots of experience as a number 2 and with taking command in his captains absence. Highly intelligent with a fantastic ability to adapt to any situation.
Second Choice: Kira Nerys

Chief Medical Officer: Julian Subatoi Bashir
Genetically engineered to be smarter and stronger then the average human. Also has the advantage of being the least annoying Doctor in Star Trek.
Second Choice: The EMH Doctor

Chief Engineer: B'Elanna Torres
Not a conventional Star fleet engineer. However shows great ability to improvise to keep her ship running.
Second Choice: Geordi La Forge

Chief Operations Officer: Data
Possibly the most able member of the crew. Definitely the strongest and smartest, and countless abilities that make him a very valuable member of any crew.
Second Choice: Miles Edward O'Brien

Chief Science Officer: T'Pol
Highly intelligent, with the capacity to question the set beliefs of the Vulcan Science council when presented with evidence that contradicts them. 
Second Choice: Jadzia Dax 

Communications Officer: Hoshi Sato
Has a natural ability with languages, which make her extremely useful should the universal translators ever fail.
Second Choice: Nyota Uhura 

Tactical\Security Chief: Worf
It's Fucking Worf! A natural warrior, He has vast experience facing off against both the Borg and the Dominion.
Second Choice: Malcolm Reed

Helmsman: Hikaru Sulu
Experienced and able helmsmen, and extremely handy with a sword
Second Choice: Wesley Crusher 

Tenth Crewman: Seven of Nine (Astrometrics)
Yes she is smart and has a lot of combat experience from her time with the Borg, however to be honest I just wanted 2 extremely attractive women in cat suits in my crew.

Second Choice: Christine Chapel (Nurse)

Ship: USS Defiant (NX-74205)
I just seem to have a thing for ships that are stripped down to the bare necessities. The Defiant can take a knock and keep on going.
Second Choice: USS Prometheus (NX-59650)

OK so there you go. If you have anything to say (apart from accusing me of sexism) or better suggestions please leave a comment

My Top Ten Films of 2012

My New Year Resolution is to try and write at least 3 blogs a month (you lucky lucky people). I usually publish a top ten of my films of the year at my scarcely updated website. However as I am now writing this blog I thought I would go into a little more detail here, and include some extras as well that I have heretofore not done. Please be aware there may be spoilers.

Notable mentions

These are the films which I really enjoyed and were the closest to being in my Top Ten:

Argo – This is a very good suspenseful thriller with excellent performances from all the cast. A bit of a letdown for me because it changed a lot details from it source material, which I had read before watching the film.

Lincoln – a great film with a lot of power house performances (just give Daniel Day Lewis the Oscar right now). The film also introduced me to a lot of interesting historical figures I was unaware of before.

Prometheus – an excellently suspenseful science fiction film, which unfortunately suffers from its connections to the Alien franchise causing people to not see its own merits. I can’t wait for the sequel the further adventures of Elizabeth and David.

Seven Psychopaths – this has been unfairly compared to the writer/directors previous film the brilliant In Bruges. Though I prefer In Bruges this is still a smart, wicked funny character piece with Christopher Walken out Walkening himself.

The Bourne Legacy – I was dubious about there being a Bourne film without Jason Bourn in it, however setting this film parallel to the previous one and making Aaron Cross a different yet still engaging character made this thriller fit in seamlessly into the Bourne universe.

The Top Ten

10) The Dark Knight Rises

I was conflicted about this one as you will remember if you have read my earlier blog I love batman. So it was hard for me to put this so low on the list, in fact this nearly missed the top ten all together. However in the end what I liked about the film, the mood, the performances (Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy deserve a special mention) and Anne Hathaway in that catsuit, outweighs any issue I may have with plot holes.

9) Wreck-It-Ralph

Wreck-It-Ralph is something of a rarity. It is an animated film made completely for children without any nods or winks towards adult, (the exception being some of the older computer game characters), that parents can sit through and still have a great time with their younglings. It is a colourful mash up of heroes who are bad, and villains with hearts of gold, in a story about wanting to belong and fighting bullies with the odd poop joke thrown in.

8) Jesus Henry Christ

A small independent comedy that you may have missed (not the only one on this list), dealing with children who are more clever than their parents, parents on the edge and finding out in the end that being yourself and loving your family no matter how weird they are will get you through almost anything. With brilliant performances from the all the cast this is one you should try and catch.

7) The Dark Knight Returns Part 1

As disappointed as I was with The Dark Knight Rises, this straight to DVD animated Batman film was a wonderful surprise. Following closely the first two issue of The Dark Knight Returns comic book series, it succeeds in bring to the screen both the darkness and despair of a Gotham City without the Caped Crusader and the obsessive desire and need for Bruce Wayne to wear the cowl. Part Two is released at the end of this month.

6) Skyfall

James Bond is back and with a bang. After the less then great Quantum of Solace we get Daniel Craig back to his best as a slightly older and even more world weary secret agent. This being the 50^th anniversary of Bond on film we had hoped for something special and Sam Mendes delivers just that. With tonnes of references to the history of bond, an excellent opening song, in my opinion the best Bond villain so far and the action turned to just right this is one of the best Bond films ever.

5) Safety Not Guaranteed

This is another small independent comedy, this time with a very slight science fiction edge to it. The thing that makes this one of my top five films of the year are the performances especially by the always wonderfully deadpan Aubrey Plaza and the “Yes I find him strangely charming in this, however I don’t know why” Mark Duplass, (very different to his character in The League). This film is definitely one to catch if you can.

4) Moonrise Kingdom

So Wes Anderson makes another offbeat comedy, full of quirky characters, a bright colour palette and starring Bill Murray. I would tell him to stop and try something new if he wasn’t fantastic at it and didn’t produce such wonderful films. Moonrise Kingdom may star big names like Bruce Willis, Edward Norton the aforementioned Bill Murray and Francis McDormand, however it is the child actors that make this film not just the two leads but also the scout troop full of psychopaths, who are just delightful.

3) The Hobbit – An Unexpected Journey

Let me just state from the start this is my favourite so far of all the Peter Jackson Middle Earth films. I liked the Lord of the Rings Trilogy well enough, however I find when watching them at home I tend to skip past all the Frodo scenes in the last two films. I don’t think it will be the same with Bilbo and this film. Martin Freeman brings a charm and depth to Bilbo that Frodo lacked. I know that The Hobbit is a lighter book then the Lord of the Rings, but that makes this more enjoyable for me. Bring on Smaug and the Five Armies.

2) The Avengers

Being a huge comic book fan this should be on the top of my list and if it wasn’t for the eventual winner this would be. The culmination of 5 years and 5 other films, this was fan boys wet dream of a film, finally we get a superhero team up film that didn’t suck. The now crowned king of all the geeks and nerd Joss Whedon did a fantastic job in bringing a giant yet intimate story to the screen and also making people want a Mark Ruffalo starring Incredible Hulk film.

1) Cloud Atlas

Being the misanthropic loner that I am what probably attracted me most to this film is the idea about the interconnectivity of everyone and everything. Six seemingly unrelated stories from six different time periods shown in bits and pieces, this may not be for everyone however I found it fascinating. Actors were playing multiple parts (sometimes different sexes or races) and in most instances the performances were brilliant. Special mention should go to Ben Whitshaw as Robert Frobisher, Jim Broadbent as Timothy Cavendish and the most excellent Doona Bae as Sonmi 451. The films central messages of how ideas, deeds and words echo through time makes one sit back and think. With a most excellent score by co-director Tom Tykwer I left this film feeling wonderful and slightly hopeful for some reason. Hopefully you will do the same.

And as an added bonus my worst film of the year for 2012

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

If I’m honest I wasn’t a huge fan of the original Ghost Rider film. It’s not a comic character I have read much of. Also the film wasn’t very good. So when I heard that a sequel was being made I didn’t have high hopes. This film did something surprising though it failed to reach anywhere near my extremely low expectations. This film basically drags out the Ghost Rider character and pisses fire all over it, (if you have seen this film you will get the reference). As I have mentioned before I love comic books and this film makes me want less comic book films to be made that’s how bad it is. Hopefully every single person (with the exception of Idris Elba) who had anything to do with this film will stay away from comic books and comic book films from now on.

Tribute For Jeff Buckley

Just a quick one today. I wanted to pay tribute to one of the greatest musician I have ever had the pleasure to listen to Jeff Buckley. Some of you might not have heard of him or his music and you should fix that as soon as you can. Vocally I don't think I have heard voice more beautiful and soulful in my life. During his life he release just one album 'Grace' (a second album being released after his death in 1997), however I can say hand on my heart it is in my top 10 albums of all time.

Jeff Buckley didn't have an easy life, he only met his real father, the also very talented musician Tim Buckley only once in his life, and allegedly suffered from Bipolar disorder. He drowned in a channel of the Mississippi river at the age of 30. Today is the anniversary of his birth and had he not died he would be 46 years old today.

Anyway here are a couple of links to 3 of my favourite songs by him. Please Enjoy

Lover, You Should've Come Over

Dream Brother

Mojo Pin

The Start Up

I have been told that this post may offend some people. If you are indeed offended by any aspect of this post well, you know, shit happens.

Those of you who read my last post may know I had been thinking a lot about my death and legacy. Anyway I became distracted. Probably by something shiny or you know, boobs. So I decided to start thinking about maybe starting some sort of business venture, no reason, like I have mentioned before my mind tends to wander all over the place, (keeps things interesting in my opinion).

Anyway what sort of business you may ask, if you are indeed the sort of person that would talks to your computer screen without any hope of a reply (you my want to stop doing that in public, people will start talking), anyhow it would have to be a business that would be quite easy to start up. Something that wouldn’t need much upkeep (as I have mentioned a couple of times I have a tendency to lose focus, also I have recently downloaded a NES emulator and Super Mario 3 will probably be taking up a lot of time). Something that would attract a loyal customer base and something that could grow to give me the public recognition and adoration my ego craves.

Then it hit me I will start a religion. I mean have you seen how rich some of the world’s religions and religious leaders are, (just look at the Vatican). Religious leaders also wield a huge amount of power and have great influence on political leaders and celebrities around the world. They are recognised brands; with a large gullible, sorry I mean faithful following who will buy almost anything. Also as a religious leader I would pretty much make up the rules as I want. I could make the use of marijuana mandatory on certain days of the week. I could make Esperanto the official language my religion, (don’t worry I won’t). I could make William Shatner a saint, (which actually I might). I mean the sky’s the limit.

Don’t worry though my religion would never be used to do anything as un-cool as to suppress women or curtail freedoms. Not like some religions are used by some religious leader I can mention, especially in a certain middle-eastern area. I mean who would want to suppress women, Women are fantastic. I mean not all women, (obviously Margaret Thatcher is the complete opposite of fantastic), but you know women in general, and let’s be clear I’m not saying this because I am somewhat of a connoisseur of the female form, I truly hold women in high regards, again obvious not all women. Also without the freedom of speech I wouldn’t be able to write this blog, (which actually might be seen by some as a good thing hmm.)

In any case let us get down to brass tacks and get some details down for this undertaking. What does a religion require? Apart from a charismatic leader of course, (obviously you will agree I have that covered). If you said Mythology, Beliefs and Rules then give yourself a treat, don’t go crazy, just a small treat, like a chocolate bar or a small toy, I mean it wasn’t that hard of a question.

We now come to my first hurdle, though as most people I know, will confirm I have a gargantuan ego, I still am not arrogant enough to pretend to know whether there is a God and what awaits each of us when we shuffle off this mortal coil. Even if there is an afterlife with a Heaven and Hell, I’m sure my vision of either may be best suited for anyone other then me.

Therefore I will allow each follower to make there own decision about whether to believe in a Deity or Deities. Also I’ll allow them to construct their own version of whatever afterlife they would like, a Heaven and a Hell, reincarnation or becoming nothingness. I know this might seem like a cop out but isn’t it just as good as any other existing system, true they are more specific on details and set in their way,  however can they be proven to be any more accurate then my ideas. I think not.

Mythology had me a bit stumped, I mean obviously I could make it up and I dabbled with the idea of creating a science fiction based mythology for my religion; however Mormonism and Scientology seem to have that market cornered. So I sat down to think and then it hit me, not literally of course, why come up with a mythology or rules myself, when there is a vast reservoir of rules and modern proverbs available to us all and ready to be tapped into. Films! Think about it generally films have set concepts of good and evil, have entertaining stories which may or may not have some moral value I suppose, if not you can come up with some convoluted way to make it have a moral message, I mean followers of all the major religions tend do so with their holy texts.

Therefore Ladies and Gentleman I give you The Church of The Moving Image

Yes I know what you are all thinking, “why on earth didn’t I come up with this, this is genius”, well you didn’t. Some others of you may be thinking, “But there is too much to choose from, there are literally millions of films”. That is the beauty of The Church of The Moving Pictures; I shall set the first seven basic principles taken from films and interpreted by me the founder. These rules must be followed and never contradicted. However those of you who decide to join my church can add whatever other principle they like as long as they do not go against my founding principles.

The Founding Seven Principles

1. “Be Excellent To One Another” (Bill. S. Preston Esquire, Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, 1989) – This one should be self explanatory, however just so there is no ambiguity, this means you must be generally nice and tolerant to people. Of course if they are being dicks you can retaliate, however only if provoked. Also note that this pretty much covers the last 6 commandment from the Old Testament in five easy words.
2. “Party on Dudes” (Theodore “Ted” Logan, Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, 1989) – The world is a huge place, full of wonder and adventure. Try to get out there and enjoy yourself as much as you possibly can. Also if you are a very busy person as lots are, take a moment every now and again to take a deep breath and see what’s happening around you.
3.  “...You know that pain and guilt can't be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They're the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don't want my pain taken away! I need my pain!” (Captain James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, 1989) – Bad stuff may happen to you, sometimes really bad stuff; you should take your time to recover or deal with it and then move on. Things that happen to us will be part of us and our experiences from that moment on, however they should define us completely. Remember principle number 2
4. “..we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain... ...and an athlete... ...and a basket case… ...a princess...  ...and a criminal...” (Brian, Andrew, Allison, Claire and Bender, The Breakfast Club, 1985) - You are who you are, it doesn’t matter what people want to label you as, you are a perfect version of yourself, be comfortable with yourself because at the end of the day we are more then just one thing, and other people can’t really make us happy.
5. “Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.” (Loki, Dogma, 1999) – If you are good at something that is not something to be ashamed of. The cream should always rise to the top. I’m not saying you should treat others who are not as good as you poorly (For one thing that would violate principle number 1), however just think where we would be if Newton, Einstein or Leonardo da Vinci had not shown off their brilliance to fit in or appease peer pressure.
6. “You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth” (Morpheus, The Matrix, 1999) – The truth is non negotiable, members of the Church of The Moving Image must not go against what has been proven to be true, scientifically or otherwise. Hence issues like Evolution and Climate Change should not be dismissed.
7. "He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!" (Brian’s Mum, Life Of Brian, 1979) – This is where it may get tricky. This is a warning about following false prophets (mainly celebrities or those people who are perceived to be celebrities), however I could also be seen as a false prophet, in which case I have wasted a lot of time thinking and then writing this post. However then again what is a religion without some leap of faith. So remember be careful who you idolise, Justin Beiber, Kim Kardashian, Honey Boo Boo etc, are not good idols they are generally idiots.

There you have it the starting basis of my new church, there are of course still some issues to iron out, such as what I will be called, what sort of, if any clergy system I shall adopt and most importantly how I am going to make money from this, but I thought I’d get the ball rolling. Remember my followers you are allowed to add any principles that will make your life better, as long as they do not contradict any of the first seven.

Live Long and Prosper

Death and Fame

Please be aware this a slightly more dark blog then I will usually post. Then again the dark places within us all are where all the delicious stuff is. Just ask Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Mary Shelley or Edgar Allen Poe. Actually you will have to find some way to either travel through time or speak to the dead, and then you can ask them. Should you do so kudos to you. Anyway...

I’ve been thinking about death a lot recently, my own to be more precise. I have been going through some dark times and a lot more dark thoughts, (no need for details as I will save them for my autobiography, or a good psychiatrist.) Anyhow as Hamlet asks in his fantastic “To be or not to be” soliloquy I too wondered about the merits of living against those of ending it all. Which lead me to look upon what legacy I would leave to this world?

I have no children, (that I know of), so that can’t be my legacy and nor should it be so. Ones legacy should not depend on the lottery of the right sperm winning a race to the right egg. I have not produced any great piece of art that the world will look at or listen to in wonder. I haven’t done anything of historical note, you know started a revolution (though still time for that I suppose), I haven’t invented anything to help further humanity (through general laziness) and I have fought for perceived injustices, however very quietly and therefore not to any standard that will be noted down.

Then again I haven’t done anything bad to be remembered for either, I haven’t committed mass murder (again still time for that I suppose) so won’t be remembered like Hitler or Stalin, I haven’t oppressed anybody so don’t get the recognition of say Pol Pot or the Kims of North Korea. Also I haven’t written or created anything truly awful enough to warrant fame or infamy to be more correct either, I’m looking at you Cliff Richard, Ayn Rand and Joel Schumacher (yes I still haven’t forgotten about Batman and Robin).

Anyway all this lead me to start thinking about fame and the reasons some people are famous, (This jumping around topics in my head is quite normal for me so don’t worry.) Obviously there are those that deserve to be recognised. Some for their contributions to the world as a better place i.e. Shakespeare, Darwin, Beethoven, Gandhi, Mother Teresa and etc. Some are famous because the create something or do something that entertains enough people that they deserve the recognition i.e. Kevin Smith, Ian Wright, Maria Callas, Audrey Tautou, Joss Whedon and etc. Then there are those who we should not forget to remind us of what is unfortunately possible i.e. The Nazis, Stalin, Jack the Ripper, Cortez and etc.

However there is a new group of people who have emerged recently, (not sure how long it started as I usually stick around my own pop cultural sphere), who are famous for no other reason that they wanted to be. I am talking about of course people who are the “stars” of so called reality TV shows. I’m talking about the Kardashians (not the militaristic alien race the Cardassians from Star Trek, though come to think of it I would love to see a reality show about them), the Jersey Shore cast, Courney Stodden and the latest abomination to come to my attention. Now from what I can tell (mind you I haven’t done extensive research on this), most of these people are famous for mentally defective on TV (I would use another word but I have been told not to). The exception being Kim Kardashian who is famous for filming herself during sex and then it somehow getting out DOH! and her sisters and mother who are riding her coat tails.

Please people tell me that these so called celebrities will not leave a bigger impact on the world then me. Otherwise I may have to bite the bullet and release a sex tape of my own, and trust me nobody wants that. However if Monica Belluci is up for it message me.